15 to 21

day 15: a song that makes you cry and why
These two songs remind me of my mother. I hope that one day I'll sing them to her; she gave up to so many things so that my sister and me could have everything we needed. She wanted (and wants) us to have all the things she wanted for herself but could never get. I don't know why I get so mad at her and my dad sometimes. I really wish I could turn back in time so I could mend everything, and thank them both every day for everything they do for us two. Every time I listen to these songs, they never fail to make me cry.

Despacito, cuando tú dormías,
ella te hablaba, te preguntaba, te protegía.
Ella prometió darte todo,
pero sólo pudo darte lo que tuvo.
Y para ti lo más hermoso
era amanecer junto a sus ojos
iluminando el mundo.

Pero los pájaros no pueden ser enjaulados,
porque ellos son del cielo, ellos son del aire;
y su amor es demasiado grande para cortarlo.

Volaste alrededor de la luna con ella,
le pediste que nunca se fuera.
Y ella respondió:
"mi amor siempre estará cuidándote".

Y la dejaste volar
y tus ojos lloraron hasta doler,
pero sólo tú sabías
que así tenía que ser,
que así tenía que ser.

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on. 
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you.
I run and run past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, 
look now, the sky is gold; 
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home. 

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall, 
but I know you're not scared of anything at all. 
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away, 
but I know I had the best day with you today. 

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean. 
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys. 
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away, 
and we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names. 

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school, 
but I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you. 
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay, 
but I know I had the best day with you today. 

I have an excellent father; 
his strength is making me stronger. 
God smiles on my little sister; 
inside and out she's better than I am. 
I grew up in a pretty house 
and I had space to run, 
and I had the best days with you. 

There is a video I found from back when I was three: 
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me. 
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs; 
and daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world. 

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall; 
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong. 
And I love you for giving me your eyes,
for staying back and watch me shine.
And I didn't know if you knew,
so I'm taking this chance to say 
that I had the best day with you today.

day 16: someone you trust
My family and my closest friends, those are the people in whom I trust completely and without any doubt.

day 17: your idol and why you look up to them
I don't have an "idol"; I mean, I look up to many people, but I don't think one should concentrate in only one role model, because then you would end up acting like them, and not like yourself. So I can't pick just one of the people I look up to, but I guess that it would be someone who fights for his/her dreams and for achieving what he/she wants. Someone who never sells his/her own identity to the sistem. I like that in people, and that's what I try to do with myself.

day 18: why you made your blog, why you still have it
The idea of running a blog has been haunting me for years. In fact, I had opened a few blogs in the past but I never actually used them. Then finally, in September of 2009 I decided to create one, because I had been through so much shit during that time that I knew the only thing that was going to take the pain away was to write about it. And it did. As soon as I started writing, all that bad energy that had been taking over my body and soul was finally leaving, and all the wounds were at last beginning to heal.
Thanks to that, I ended up falling in love with my blog; it gave me a place for me to express every thought that crossed my mind. Now I never hold a grudge, because I can put it into words and leave it here, not inside of me. 

day 19: your thoughts on your family
I think my family is awesome. Of course we have our ups and downs, but overall, I would never change them. They helped me get where I am today, and I know they'll never leave me alone (no matter how many times I thought they had to). I'm proud of each and every thing I learned from them, they're everything to me. 

day 20: what you think makes someone beautiful
This may sound absolutely corny, but I really think that someone is beautiful when they actually believe they are beautiful (but not in a narcissistic way), and when they're beautiful from the inside. When you know you're beautiful, other people start to realize it too.

day 21: everything you wish for in a significant other
I just wish that he will make me the happiest girl on Earth. The first time I fell in love, he had almost nothing to do with how I wanted my ideal boyfriend to be, but still I loved him with everything I had. As long as I'm happy with him and he's happy with me, I'll be fine.

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